Last Words

LAST WORDS

In the movies it seems like
people say their last words
and then shut their eyes
and they’re gone.

After 12 hours of her being unconscious
and unresponsive to
touch and sound,
I am wondering if I should stretch out
on the couch instead of
napping in the chair beside her bed
where I’ve been since Wednesday night.
I’ve been wondering this for a while
because in a situation like this
nothing happens quickly and you have
a lot of time to ponder even small decisions.

The couch looks more comfortable but then again
I can’t hold her hand from there.

And while I am thinking about this
she opens her eyes
and squeezes my hand,
which is still there,
and says “I love you both”.

Which seems like something
you would just imagine wanting
someone to say at a time like this.

But she actually just said that.

And now she’s been unconscious again
for nearly another 12 hours and I am still in my
chair because there will be lots
of other times
to lie on the couch.

-Leah Costello