Not Going to Get Better

NOT GOING TO GET BETTER

So we’re all getting better at doing this.

This time I’ve been told clearly that the
new spot is cancerous and that there is
an appointment in Kelowna
on Monday morning.

The promised call doesn’t come until late that night
but I miss the phone in the back seat so
I listen to my mother leaving me the
phone number of the
hotel in Kelowna.

It’s 9:30 at night so I should know that it’s
bad news but people with
bad news don’t do normal things like
leave messages with phone numbers on
answering machines
I think.

I’m still not expecting my mother to say in a
steady but already resigned voice
that this time …

she’s not going to get better.

-Leah Costello