Afghanistan's Fawzia Koofi to visit Vancouver

Every once in a while, a rare opportunity comes along to meet someone who is making history; defining the course of people's lives now and for many generations into the future.


One of those people is Fawzia Koofi. While not a household name here in Canada, her actions and leadership are changing the lives of many in Afghanistan. If you believe in the ripple effect, she's changing lives here too. A well-known activist for democracy and human rights, she's one of the growing number of Afghan women who are standing up to fight for their future, in a society often warped by tradition and war. 

Condoleeza Rice with Fawzia Koofi

She's Afghanistan's most popular female politician, and the first female Deputy Speaker of the Parliament in her country. She was chosen as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum, and will run for President of Afghanistan in 2014. That is, if she can survive the extremists that dominate politics in this region. She's challenged Hamid Karzai to take a stronger position on human rights before conceding to Taliban insurgents - resulting in the murder of one of her aides just months ago and numerous attempts on her own life. 


She's coming to Vancouver on June 6th to talk about Afghanistan, politics, religion, and her own, very personal experiences. I'm thrilled to be hosting her for two events that day: 


Lunch at the Vancouver Club - REGISTER HERE
11:45 am - 1:45 pm
For the business crowd at lunch, her presentation will focus on the political dynamics at play inside Afghanistan; where the country is headed as involvement from the international community evolves. 


What forces are shaping the political leadership - how influential are the religious extremists? What is the relationship between Afghanistan and its neighbours? How do these dynamics influence us in the West, in terms of energy, security, and economics? 


If you're downtown, this is a great opportunity to host your colleagues and clients for a stimulating presentation. More information and registration details for the lunch event are here.


An Evening at the Kay Meek Centre - REGISTER HERE
7:30 - 9:00 pm
In the evening, I will be hosting her for a larger public event at the Kay Meek Centre in West Vancouver. We'll have a little more time, so she'll be broadening her talk to include more of her personal experiences as detailed in her recently published memoir Letters to My Daughters.


"In it, Ms. Koofi describes unflinchingly the wreckage she witnessed at the hands of Afghans of all ideologies and clans: the domestic violence that was a mundane part of family life, gang rape, the burning of a Kabul mosque where dozens of women had sought shelter during the civil war, and the public humiliation and beatings meted out casually by the Taliban."  - An excerpt from a recent Globe & Mail article.


More information and details about how to register for the evening event are here, but read on for a small preview of her story:

On the day Fawzia Koofi was born, her mother set her under the blazing Afghanistan sun to die. The 19th child of 23 in a family with seven wives, her mother did not want another daughter. Despite severe burns that lasted into her teenage years, Koofi survived and became the favourite child.

In Letters to My Daughters, Koofi tells her remarkable life story, one marked by a fierce passion to better the world around her. Koofi''s father was an incorruptible politician strongly attached to Afghan tradition. When he was murdered by the mujahadeen, her illiterate mother decided to send the ten year-old girl to school, and as the civil war raged, Koofi dodged bullets and snipers to attend class, determined to be the first person in her family to receive an education.

Koofi went on to marry a man she loved and they had two cherished daughters, Shohra and Shaharzad. Tragically, the arrival of the Taliban spelled an end to her freedom. Outraged and deeply saddened by the injustice she saw around her, and by the tainting of her Islamic faith, she discovered politics herself.

And thinking about her upcoming visit, this quote really struck me:

"Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls, and interesting people."
- Henry Miller


I hope to see you in June!

Its Time to Change the Culture of Entitlement

Thank you so much to those of you who came out to our lunch with Bill Gairdner, author of The Trouble with Canada...Still. My apologies to those of you who weren't able to attend - I had a technical glitch with our recording and so haven't been able to put up a podcast on my iTunes channel. But I've learned my lesson!

Anyway, for those of you who are still looking for a copy of his book, I've just checked www.chapters.ca and it looks like there are 7 left in the lower mainland - 6 at the Broadway and Granville store and 1 at Brentwood Mall. I'm still waiting for the copy that I ordered on-line : ) We've hooked Bill up with another possible publisher and so we shall await some good news that he is back up and running, and in print again.

I've been thinking a lot about Bill's message about changing the culture of entitlement, and agree that that is where we all need to focus our efforts. As politicians clearly have no incentive to say no to those who ask them for money, the only hope that we have is to change the culture of popular opinion, which in turn may change the policy platfoms from which governments operate.

Perhaps now is a good time for us all to work on those within our circle of influence to encourage more understanding around the appropriate role of government, and how everyone would benefit by government pulling out of programs it should not be involved in (and aren't very good at). This would allow more room for the private sector, community groups, and volunteers to stake a greater role in building the kind of compassionate society we all want to live in.

On that note, Dambisa Moyo's latest book "How the West Was Lost" outlines how our culture of entitlement (and the mis-guided policies that support it) have harmed our economies nearly beyond repair, when compared with the relative success and high growth rates of China, India, and others. You can order your copy of her book at www.chapters.ca, and if you're interested in attending our next event with her on April 4th, you can register through www.bonmotclub.com.

Confessions of a Greenpeace Dropout: The Making of a Sensible Environmentalist

Yesterday at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, I met two of the last seven surviving Northern White Rhinos in the whole entire world. They looked pretty lonely and were a sobering reminder to me of how delicate our natural environment can be. I left with a lump in my throat and softened heart. 

I can only imagine the passion for our planet that must have pulsed through Patrick Moore and his co-founders when they started Greenpeace 40 years ago. Had I been alive then, and of an age to be swept up in the movement, I probably would have signed up with bells...er...bellbottoms on. 

Patrick Moore vs. whalers

Many of their campaigns championed important ideas, and provided education to a world in need of some wake-up calls. But something's happened to the organization - their agenda now seems anti-science, anti-business, and sometimes, anti-human. 

Dr. Moore left 15 years after co-founding Greenpeace to establish a more sensible, science-based approach to environmentalism. His new book Confessions of a Greenpeace Dropout: The Making of A Sensible Environmentalist gives his first-hand account as an insider and witness to how the group devolved into extremism. 


He envisions a more sustainable world by using practical and straightforward solutions to some of the most controversial subjects in the news today - energy independence, climate change, genetic engineering, and aquaculture. He even supports nuclear power in the wake of the Japanese nuclear crisis.


In the midst of his busy book tour (if I couldn't host him now, his next availability was June!), he's making the time to join us for lunch and to discuss some of his ideas. I hope you'll join us!

"Patrick’s great talent is his ability to clearly set out the environmental challenges we face and identify innovative solutions that fully take into account both people and the environment… In these challenging times, I think that’s exactly the kind of environmental leadership people are looking for." 

- Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of New York City

"Former colleagues in the environmental movement scorned and shunned Dr. Moore, after he left Greenpeace… He is a tough minded scientist and an advocate for sound scientific research, policy, and practical, sustainable development." 

- Dr. Terry Simmons, Greenpeace co-founder

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Vancouver Club

UBC/SFU Room, 3rd Floor

11:45 am - Casual sandwich buffet

12:15 pm - Serious intellectual stimulation

1:30 pm - Back to work!

$45.00

Register here* 
*You will be directed to the Bon Mot Book Club site, please note this is not a Bon Mot Book Club event

The Trouble with Canada...Still!

One of the things I love the most is to debate ideas - especially about politics, economics, and current affairs. I'm interested in all points of view as long as the ground rules of respect and open-mindedness are there.

I've known Bill Gairdner for a number of years, and although we don't see eye-to-eye on everything, what I appreciate about him the most is that he cares a lot about our country and isn't afraid to put forth controversial ideas for discussion. I believe its important to think outside the boundaries of political correctness - perhaps only to reinforce your belief system or perhaps to stretch and test it.

Twenty years ago (okay, just a little before I was fully engaged in policy discussions), he published a book called The Trouble with Canada. He's now updated his best-seller to once again look at:

-Why are our taxes so high?

-Why is our National Debt so high?

-Why are earnings of immigrants so low?

-Why is our rate of police-reported criminal incidents among the highest in the world?

-Why do we allow politicians to control our health care?

-Does bilingualism discriminate against Anglophones?

-Is multiculturalism supporting diversity or tribalism?

-Is the judiciary making laws instead of applying them?

He proposes that Canada is caught between two irreconcilable styles of government: a top-down collectivism and a bottom-up individualism. Do you agree? I hope that you'll join me for lunch to discuss and debate his positions on these topics!

William Gairdner has had a busy life as an Olympic athlete, an academic, a businessman, and now as a successful writer. After earning a number of higher degrees, including a Ph.D in Literature and Philosophy from Stanford University, he taught at York University. He then pursued a career in business from which he retired to devote his time to writing. 

Bill was then the managing editor of Canada's Founding Debates - now a historical landmark. His published books have included The Trouble with Democracy, The Book of Absolutes, The War Against the Family, Constitutional Crack-Up: Canada and the Showdown with Quebec, and After Liberalism.

"If it is not already so, Canada is in danger of becoming a Tripartite State in which one third of the people works to create wealth, one third works for government at some level, and another third depends on government for a significant portion of its income. Anyone can see that the last two segments will always gang up on the first."    - William Gairdner

Copies of The Trouble with Canada...Still! will be on sale at the event, but if you'd like to get a copy in advance, you can order from Chapters here.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The Fairmont Waterfront Hotel

Cheakamus Room, Concourse level

11:45 am  Registration & casual sandwich buffet

12:15 pm  Serious intellectual stimulation

1:30 pm    Back to work!

$45.00      

REGISTER NOW* Advance registration only - this link will also take you to the Bon Mot Book Club site (please note this is a separate event from that series)

Lunch with Calvin Helin discussing "The Economic Dependency Trap"

Over forty years ago my parents moved to a small native reserve in northern Alberta to teach in a one room schoolhouse. They taught as best they could, but spent much of their time helping the kids survive the abuse and extreme poverty rampant in the community. Forty years later that generation has grown up, but not much else has changed.

A few years ago I met native lawyer Calvin Helin who opened my eyes to the scope of  harm caused by government-sponsored poverty. He wants to change these circumstances, and if anyone can, I'd place my bets on him. With a gentle spirit and a passionate intellect, this six times best-selling author of Dances with Dependency: Out of Poverty through Self-Reliance, has become quite the force as an outspoken advocate for aboriginal empowerment.

I've asked him to join me for lunch at the Vancouver Club to discuss his latest project The Economic Dependency Trap, and sign some copies of his book. I hope you'll join me, but do come prepared to be swept up in his revolution!


The Economic Dependency Trap:
Breaking Free to Self-Reliance
From urban public housing projects to impoverished reservations, middle class suburban neighbourhoods to Bay Street, economic dependency has become a serious pandemic. Just what is economic dependency? It is the inability to become financially self-reliant, because government programs aren't just a temporary help - they're a permanent crutch. Today, economic dependency has become a way of life for millions of North Americans.

In the US, approximately 20 percent of the population relies on the government for daily housing, food, and health care, and one in six Americans is now being served by at least one government anti-poverty program. Most troubling of all, one out of every five children is now living in poverty.

But Calvin Helin - attorney, entrepreneur, and recognized authority on poverty, not only wants to expose this reality, he wants to reverse it.
  

"Calvin Helin's epic study of dependence and the physical, mental, as well as spiritual harm it spreads among its victims is a revolutionary document. A leading First Nations lawyer, the son of a fisherman, and very much a self-made intellectual and reluctant advocate, Calvin speaks for his people from the heart and from the gut. The collected wisdom in this book will lift the burden and let the sunshine in."           - Peter C. Newman

 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Vancouver Club
UBC Room, 3rd Floor
11:45 am  Registration & casual sandwich buffet
12:15 pm  Serious intellectual stimulation
1:30 pm    Back to work!
$45.00      
REGISTER NOW* Advance registration only - this link will also take you to the Bon Mot Book Club site - please note this is a separate event from that series : 

Lunch with Ezra Levant discussing "Ethical Oil"

In my family, the biggest compliment that you can give someone is to say that they "have a nice mind". My friend Ezra's got that an then some! His new book Ethical Oil: The Case for Canada's Oil Sands is about to hit the shelves on September 14th. For those of you who thought his book Shakedown was a hot seller, this is going to blow that out of the water.


I've asked him to join me for lunch to talk about his new book, and as I'm guessing that a few other people might be interested as well, I've booked a large room at the Vancouver Club if you'd like to join us. You can order the book in advance, but there will also be some available on-site with an opportunity for a personal autograph.


The event details are below - I hope to see you there!


Ethical Oil: The Case for Canada's Oil Sands
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Vancouver Club
$40.00 (Advance registration only *this link will also take you to the Bon Mot Book Club site - please note this is a separate event from that series : )
11:45 am  Registration & casual lunch buffet
12:15 pm  Speaker program
1:30 pm   Adjournment



In 2009, Ezra Levant's bestselling book Shakedown revealed the corruption of Canada's human rights commissions and was declared the "most important public affairs book of the year."


In Ethical Oil, Levant turns his attention to another hot-button topic: the ethical cost of our addiction to oil. While many North Americans may be aware of the financial and environmental price we pay for a gallon of gas or a barrel of oil, Levant argues that it is time we consider ethical factors as well. With his trademark candor, Levant asks hard-hitting questions: With the oil sands at our disposal, is it ethically responsible to import our oil from the Sudan, Russia, and Mexico? How should we weigh carbon emissions with human rights violations in Saudi Arabia? And assuming that we can't live without oil, can the development of energy be made more environmentally sustainable?


In Ethical Oil, Levant exposes the hypocrisy of the West's dealings with the reprehensible regimes from which we purchase the oil that sustains our lifestyles, and offers solutions to this dilemma. Guests at all points on the political spectrum will want to participate in this timely and provocative discussion, which is sure to spark debate.

Sarah Palin coming to Vancouver

So it seems that everyone has come out of their summer slumber and noticed that the second speaker for the Bon Mot Book Club is going to be Sarah Palin. Malcolm Parry announced this in his column in early July, yet still the Vancouver Sun called a few days ago to "crack" the story!

Anyway, the media frenzy aside, I have enjoyed (most) of the comments and emails. Some on the Georgia Strait site are really quite witty and funny.

Some of the personal attacks against me that have arrived in my email box? Not as funny, but I guess that's how some people deal with a difference of opinion.

What's most interesting are the assumptions that are made about me and my motives for bringing her in. I like some of her policy ideas and disagree with others. Regardless of that, she is an interesting person with an interesting background and story, and someone who, regardless of whether you agree with her or not, is certainly a force in US politics. So why wouldn't I and others want to meet her and have a stimulating discussion? And what would be the point of only having discussions with people who you agree with on all issues?


If you're interested, please join us on October 13th - just a few weeks out from the US midterm elections!

I'm a Catalyst now...

I responded on a whim to an invitation from the Globe & Mail to be a member of their Globe "Catalysts" program. I was accepted to be one of 1000 out of 8000 applicants, to provide my personal insights and comments on current affairs and issues of interest to Canadians, via forums with other members and their journalists.

I was happy to be accepted, and even somewhat surprised, given that part of my application included a personal rant about their climate change front cover page from a couple of weeks ago. The headline was something along the lines of "any doubts around climate change have now been debunked". Their evidence was a dozen or so "graphs" containing various squiggly lines, most of them sweeping up to the right. The captions on the graphs had titles around temperature and other measures.

My rant, however, was that none of the graphs had any x or y axis! So there were no measurements of what I presume would be tempurature and timelines, for example. Any one of the graphs could have been the temperatures from yesterday, for example, or showing a range of .00001 to .00002 degrees. There was no way to tell, and this was covering their entire front page! Even less intellectually stimulating than an Al Gore documentary.Crazy!

The good thing I guess is that they accepted me into their forum anyway. I guess every group needs an agitator : )

We Day 2010

Congratulations to Lorne Segal and his team for producing a truly remarkable event to get young people engaged in their community! They're doing it again in Vancouver on October 15th and bringing in speakers including the Reverend Jesse Jackson, Martin Sheen, Rick Hansen, and...well, Al Gore (you can't win them all)! I encourage those of you with teenagers to try and get them involved through their schools - check out www.weday.com.

Build that mosque

I've been struggling with the petitions and outcry around the building of the mosque near ground zero.

Congratulations to Obama for standing up for freedom of religion - I also think this article from The Economist does a terrific job of outlining what the real issues are - or should be.

If something is illegal, then it shouldn't be allowed regardless of how close or far away it is from anything else. There's nothing illegal about this building, and its up to the owners to decide upon its location, whatever their reasons may be, and regardless how distasteful those reasons may be to some groups.

First "Bon Mot Book Club" event - Author Michael Lewis (The Big Short) - September 20

I have to say that I'm pretty excited about the first speaker in my new event series! Michael Lewis has been writing about the financial markets (and other things) for about 20 years. Or since I was about 5 : )

I've booked him to launch my new event series in Vancouver on September 20. The Bon Mot Book Club will feature thought-leaders, newsmakers, intellectuals, heroes, and more than a few characters and rogues. And that’s just the guest list! The speakers bring all those traits and more as they focus on the headline-making issues and pressing problems of the day – covering topics on business & economy, politics, science & innovation, religion & spirituality, world affairs, culture, and much more.

But back to Michael Lewis and his book The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine. My only wish is that it had been published a year earlier so that I would have had more insight into the financial crisis as it was unfolding. But that's the issue, isn't it? No one had much insight into the financial crisis as it was unfolding, except the few that Lewis follows in his book who managed to short the market and make a bunch of dough.

Its a captivating read, and you're left feeling like you are as smart as the guys in the story - it all seems so obvious in hindsight. I hope you'll join me for a fascinating evening with the author on Monday, September 20!

Ezra Levant and his new book "Shakedown"

It's pretty amazing to me that I've now known Ezra for nearly 15 years now. As young "freedom fighters", we worked together at the Fraser Institute in the mid-90's. He hasn't changed a bit! Still as charming, intelligent, and eloquent as ever, I could listen to him for hours.

Which is what I've had the opportunity to do a lot of lately! I've just finished reading his new book "Shakedown". In it he chronicles his experiences publishing the infamous Danish Cartoons of Muhammed, and his subsequent battle over Free Speech with the Human Rights Commission. He's now on a campaign to have them abolished, and I couldn't agree with him more.  The book is a rant extraordinaire and a page turner - 100% Ezra all the way. You can watch his video promotion of the book here and can buy it here.

The book was so interesting that I hosted him as a guest for our Behind the Spin: Fraser@Metro series. We filmed the event and you can enjoy my inability to keep from laughing out loud at his antics here. I need to work on my skills as an "independent" moderator, apparently : )

Okay, I just can't help myself. I think this is HILARIOUS! 'Nuff said. : )

Had dinner with John & Janette Howard on Sunday night ...

One of the most interesting parts of my job is the people that I get to meet. I recently invited John Howard, former Prime Minister of Australia, to Canada to speak at a series of events for the Fraser Institute.

On Sunday, as I was about to leave on my run through the Capilano trails, a call came through on my cell phone from a number that I didn't recognize. It was John Howard's assistant calling from Australia, asking me to call him at his Vancouver hotel to discuss his speech the next evening.

We had a fabulous conversation about provincial, federal, and world politics - on everything from Obama to the environment to the war in Iraq. At the end of the conversation, it crossed my mind to invite he and his wife out for dinner as it seemed that there was so much more to talk about - so many more of the world's problems to solve! But practicality took over, and having just prepped some spaghetti sauce, I thought I'd better keep to our original plans.

I called David to tell him that I was now going to be late for dinner, what with having spent so much time on the phone with "John". I mentioned my fleeting thought about inviting the Howards for dinner and my reticence given my previous pasta preparations. David groaned and said well, we could invite them OUT for dinner...

So I ran for a bit and then thought - why not!?! I called John back and asked him if he and his wife had any plans for dinner - that David and I were planning on heading out to our favourite local seafood spot and would they like to join us? A few minutes later he phoned back and said... sure, could we pick them up at 7:30?

Yikes! What favourite seafood spot? A quick round of calls informed us that Vancouver has very few seafood restaurants open on a Sunday night. Luckily the Italian Kitchen on Alberni was accommodating, and we had a delightful dinner out. A nearby table of Aussies recognized our dinner guest and sent over a lovely bottle of Australian Shiraz from Barossa, which nicely complimented the 5 (mostly) seafood inspired courses from chef Eric. And, which nicely complimented an evening of anecdotes and storytelling with the Howards.

The moral of the story? Always ask for what you want. If you're lucky, you just might get it : )

Former Austrialian Prime Minister John Howard coming to Vancouver

I'm pretty excited to be hosting former Australian Prime Minister John Howard here on February 2 at the Four Seasons. http://www.fraserinstitute.org/newsandevents/events/6185.aspx

As always, hosting someone requires the right balance of protocol with enough humour to make things interesting. I'm thinking of using this opening line:

A friend of mine recently moved to Australia for work and had an interesting experience trying to enter the country. At the customs desk she was asked for all of the usual paperwork, including passport, visa, and travel documents. The clerk then asked her about her criminal record.

"Criminal record?" she asked. "I didn't think you still needed one to get in here!"

Hardy har har : )

Bailouts Gone Wild: Porn Chiefs Seek $5 Billion

I've been following the public clamour for bailouts with quite a bit of interest. I would prefer that the market (all of us as individuals) choose which companies succeed and don't by our willingness to buy products from the businesses that provide us the products and services that we want, instead of government bureacracies taking our tax money and divvying it out the way they see fit.

The line up of people with their hands out is becoming more and more bizarre. Now it's the porn industry! I don't have a particular problem with legal pornography (note: this is not an endorsement or a criticism), but I can tell you for sure that I don't think governments should subsidize it! Check it out:

Bailouts Gone Wild: Porn Chiefs Seek $5 Billion
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/07/bailouts-gone-wild-porn-chiefs-seek-5-billion/

Heaven doesn't really exist

It's taken me 3 days to write this email - you'll see why below! Please note my disclaimer that I was brought in to help with this event just weeks ago as the main person fell ill...caveat in place, let's begin...
***
After my delightful lunch on the terrace we met with the hotel manager for a tour of the resort and to check out the venues that we will be using with our group.

I've never seen anything like this! The 3 hotels on the bay (again, this is the only development as far as the eye can see, for 100's of miles to the south, and the city is half an hour to the north) are stretched along a secluded beach. Of the 3 hotels, ours is the luxury 6 star one. Of the many amazing features, my favourite is a 200m exclusive + private stretch of sand reaching out to a large rock. Called Sunset Beach, guests can lounge on the dozen or so lounge chairs spread along the sand watching the sun go down, with water on both sides. Another favourite is the infinity pool. When you swim side to side and lift your arm for a breath, all you can see is water, which drops off the edge to the cliff below, so that you see nothing but water meeting water....

We are shown the dinner spot for our opening night with the Minister of Oil + Gas - a grassy tip of the far peninsula, with billowing linens covering tables set under palm trees. When night falls, the cliff wall is lit with coloured lights and a traditional feast laid out. It is breath-taking and I can hardly wait!

!*!*Reality Check!*!*

After my lunch and tour, I was shaken into reality. Apparently I'm not an Arabian princess, but here to work! 5:00 pm until 2:30 in the morning involved a laptop, slow internet connection, a business centre that closed earlier than the 24 hour a day service we were led to expect, and a dinner of almonds and diet coke out of the (complimentary at least) mini bar. The sounds of the waves, the singers from the lounge, and the chimes of laughter from the beach drowned out by the clicking of the keyboard....the program needs updating from all of the changes we've made over the last week. We've been told that its a cultural thing, that people don't confirm appointments or information until the last possible moment. It's nerve-wracking, but we think we're ready to go.

***

Unfortunately I went to bed before the fat lady sang. From my vantage point it was hard to tell the girth of whoever was wailing possibly ancient traditional camel-mating sounds from the lounge patio adjacent my window.

It's Hallowe'en when I wake up after a diet cola induced fitful sleep dreaming of planes, papers, and delegates, but my costume is ready to go! I dress as a rumpled, tired, + foreign event planner with a look of desperation around her eyes. I carry off the look convincingly well and the same lady who stayed 2 hours late for us last night in the business centre works with us as we try to decipher why the emails we send her with more materials to print are evaporating in the heat. The machine with the adjustable hole-punch settings is stuck on 4 holes which means that my notes look like snowflakes and none of the papers can be inserted into the binder. We've brought A4 paper stock as is the size here, but the templates from our printer, which were supposed to match, don't. The colour printing comes out so badly I'm not sure if someone's slipped LSD into my coffee or if its my eyes unable to focus.... The scent of incense is making me crazy and the air conditioning on so high I actually fear I might catch pnumonia.

In a moment of genius, I'd invited the guests who are arriving early to join us tonight for a casual BBQ and drinks at the beach bar before our formal program starts the next day. At 3:30 from the business centre, I vow never to come up any nice ideas like that ever again. The extension number we've given people to call to RSVP for the BBQ is very convenient unless you actually expect anyone to answer the ringing line. If someone does, they ask to take a message so that they can call you back. At which point I think they crumple up the little message papers and toss them into the incense burners.

The participant kits are delivered to the rooms, but very (in)conveniently placed in bottoms of desk drawers making it hard for guests to know they are there. Hysterically, I wonder at one point if this is some kind of Hallowe'en/Easter fusion celebration where you have to scramble around your room finding hidden things you didn't know you were supposed to look for, buried deep within the furniture.

***

It's 4:30 and I walk out to the pool deck. The sun is setting but I catch the last few rays as I slide into the water. Someone at the front desk in a stroke of brilliance has been asking the guests as they check in, if they'd like to join us for dinner. 15 have said yes, the reservation is in place, and I feel like a princess once again....

***

Our BBQ is set up down a path lit with candles, just above Sunset beach in a private area down from the hotel. Palm trees and lanterns sway in the warm evening air. I'm handed a cocktail and there are jumbo prawns on the outdoor grill. The guests arrive, tired but relaxed, and the dinner begins...

(A lovely evening all in all, and I consider myself lucky to be in the company of 6 people who all, amazingly and coincidentally, retrospectively predicted the financial crisis. Much of the evening is spent with them congratulating each other on their brilliance! : )

***

6 am wake-up call and our first day begins with an optional cultural tour of the Grand Mosque, local museum, and shops. Our advance guides had told us women could enter the mosque as long as our skirts/pants were below the knee and we were wearing a head scarf. Not so, and my calf-length capris are not enough to hide my sexy ankles from Allah. I understand that Allah is trying to tell me I need to nap on the bus instead for the next hour. I gratefully take his advice.

Our charming and relatively uneventful day (well sure, there's always someone lost in the market and late for the bus) includes some narration on Muscat. 30 years ago they had no phones, roads, water, electricity..... Incredible how far they've come under their Sultan. A modern fellow who has graciously also allowed women the right to drive. (Perhaps he'd change his mind on that if I were to take him for a spin?!?)

The day, however, takes a turn for the worse as we arrive back at the hotel. Our local partner, who is the host and organizer of our opening dinner starting in 2.5 hours, has left us a note. Shocking, really, to have any communication from them at all, given that they've been more elusive than David Copperfield over the past weeks and months.

The Minister of Oil + Gas has cancelled, they've subsequently cancelled the dinner on the peninsula, and if we'd like to give them a call, here are 8 phone numbers. (If you can accurately guess how many of the 8 phone numbers actually work I'll give you a dollar.) The hotel says no, they can't rebook us in to at least eat, with or without a speaker, as they've sent all the staff home. As I'm thumbing through the yellow pages trying to ascertain if Panagopolous will at least deliver (turns out they would), the phone rings!

Another Minister, of Heritage and Culture, has invited our delegation to join him and Her Excellency I Don't Understand The Name Over The Phone But Its This Long at an event they are hosting at the Grand Hyatt. They are very vague about the purpose of the evening, but given that they've cancelled our dinner and are insisting we attend, our work is now cut out for us. We find a bus, call back the photographer, track down 32 delegates who are spread over acres of hotel, change the departure time, and alter everyone's dress code. People are obviously disappointed but a sense of excitement and mystery settles over the bus. One of our dignitaries laughs and says "Welcome to the Middle East".

After an hour or traveling back through the city, the sense of excitement and mystery has been replaced by heat and hunger. However the Grand Hyatt looms large in white marble, and is enticing with its sparklingly lit pillars and porticos and a mile long line of Mercedes in the turnabout.

Its no small wonder that we've arrived on time and the event organizer expresses her wonder as well, in that nothing ever starts on time in the Middle East. A grand but entirely vacant reception area and ballroom are decorated to the hilt and we are invited to wait for the other of the 150 guests to arrive. Wait and have a drink to start. A non-alcoholic drink. Oh no.....

It is a Muslim country but the international hotels do serve alcohol. Just not, it appears when there are local VIP's in attendance. Notwithstanding the irony that no-one's actually in attendance except us, VIP or otherwise, we won't be served cocktails here! A dash through the dishdashas (long white robes that the men wear) on the mezzanine level upstairs finally reveals a small bar with a terrace patio over looking the ocean. And wine! With a lovely server who immediately sets to arranging glasses. I dash back down the stairs as the guests are just entering the reception area and whisk them up to liquid 13.8%.

No sooner have they started sipping, but the event organizer is calling for us to come back down as the VIP's are arriving. I actually consider telling the delegates to chug their wine as it's the only alcohol they're going to get, but decide I just can't stoop to that level. They're smart people and many figure that out on their own. A flurry of activity and the guests are down the stairs and then moved from our original tables behind a wall of pillars to better seating. Mike Harris and some of our other high-profile delegates are moved to seats of honour. Fabulous.
And then, the fun truly begins.

The reality of what we've been invited to starts to sink in. It's a fundraising dinner for a local Children's Library. As sweet as the event is, I'm not sure that many of us would have traveled halfway across the planet through 27 time zones at a ridiculous cost, in the interests of learning more about economic policy formation in the region, to attend this. It takes a moment longer for our guests to understand what's going on, what with all of the presentations being in Arabic. Unfortunately the gift of a children's book on ants at each place setting doesn't take long to read and soon everyone is restless and getting hungry. But for a few wedges of pita, there's no food in sight....

Our partners and "hosts" for this event have conveniently disappeared which is probably a good thing as I'm not sure what kind of sentence a charge of asphyxiation with a dishdasha would get me in Oman. At 9:30pm with the first course only starting to arrive, some of our delegation is heading for the exit in search of a taxi back to our hotel. Some plates arrive as we are leaving and I wonder if anyone else is considering tucking a chop in their pocket for the trip back on the bus.

We arrive back at the Resort to a graceful setting of sparkling and crisp Moet Brut with some elegant tables of food set up on the terrace near the pool. Having promised our guide my hand in marriage (probably as wife #3 if I think that through) if he can actually pull this off while we're en route from the Hyatt, I now throw in some cash and a kiss on the cheek.

Our guests visibly relax but don't stay long as its now 10:30 pm and they're due in the lobby, packed and checked out, by 6:30 am the next day. They start to wander back to their rooms through the peaceful garden until....

SPLASH! One of our senior dignitaries trips and falls into the pool.

Sigh.

I don't think there's enough champagne here to help me now...

***

2 am and we've got the details for the next day sorted out and our plan's in place. I return to my room and call for a 5 am wake-up call. All I've eaten since lunch is a raspberry off of the dessert tray but even the usual assortment of almonds from the mini bar doesn't really appeal. I reach to unplug my computer from the hotel's converter when....

Sparks and a small fire erupts from the end of the plug and my fingertips are now on fire. The jolt has sent me dancing and I would look for my phrase book to translate F*!K into Arabic but I can't see a thing. The surge has caused all of the electricity in my room to turn off and now its pitch black, and I'm hopping naked around the room with my blistering finger in my mouth.
I could care less about the blackness, but now that I've knocked out the phones, I'm mostly worried about my wake up call not getting through.

I grope around for my robe and finally find the door. I'm certain that if capri pants are unsuitable for the local religion, a bathrobe is my ticket to hell. Under different circumstances I might find this disconcerting were I not sure I'm not already there.

The front lobby is a good mile from my room and I furtively skip along the corridors hoping desperately not to run into a delegate. I am also hoping desperately to find a house phone but no such luck.

The reception staff, averting their eyes from my gasping chest and smoking hand, gracefully suggest another room while they try to fix my electricity, so that I can see well enough to pack and blow dry my hair in 3 short hours.

I fall into (some other bed), hoping that they've managed to reroute the wake-up call.

Day 1? Completed. Six more to go....